Friday, October 30, 2009

rainball

more friends-n-fun.
football.
in the rain.


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ah, youth.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

neighborhood gatherings


have been happening frequently around here, mostly in the under 13 crowd.
our kids haven't had trees of their own in a while to make piles of leaves in, so they were eager to start raking.
they quickly gained a gathering of followers.the gloves prevent the "red hots" (rope burns).

(click to enlarge)

some just got buried.
some buried themselves.all had a great time.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

fire safety house

one thing the pennsylvania homeschool law really emphasizes is fire safety.
it's required to be taught (with proof in the portfolio!) every year.
(and yet, it was not taught in one grade out of the 6 we were in public school last year)
so we took up the opportunity when the local township fire department had their inflatable learning house at hands on house.
jack, olivia, mike and pete had fun.
firehouse2
this was from inside. a little girl actually got her foot stuck in the rope ladder that went to the top of the slide. she needed two firemen to get her out (sounds like a joke, but it's all true! olivia tried to help her before the firemen climbed in and rescued her).
firehouse3

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firehouse5

firehouse6

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

frieda

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karis and her boyfriend, t.j. were training at q.v.c. (in different departments) but got mixed up on who was picking them up, so they walked home (about 2 miles). they found this injured butterfly on the way, and karis promptly named her frieda. she fed her and gave her water, but she only lived 2 more days. she sure was pretty, though, eh?

Monday, October 26, 2009

we had the recent pleasure of seeing our good friends of 22+ years, doug and val sheaffer and their lovely daughter, hadley.
the last time we had seen them, hadley and jack were babies (they were born a week apart).
they are in the military, and are relocating from texas to germany (as in europe!).
we had so much fun. and olivia and hadley bonded as well.
we'll miss you, and wouldn't it be great if we could come visit?
and have lunch in paris?

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"a friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature."

"it is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."
ralph waldo emerson

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

sleep

amazingly enough, we've never really had older children act out or regress once we added a new baby to the family.
until now.
we woke up the other morning to heavy breathing/baby snoring sounds in our bedroom.

this is what we found:
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guess he wanted the chance to sleep in the pack 'n play too.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Strong Willed Child (mops talk)

before i even begin, i have a gift to share with you. it is certainly nothing extravagant or costly and if you live in a house like mine, it will get destroyed by the weekend. but for today, right now, i want to give you this as a reminder that you are loved--it's a piece of lovely, to brighten your day and remember:

isaiah 40:11
He tends His flock like a shepherd
He gathers the lambs in His arms
and carries them close to His heart
He gently leads those that have young.

(handed out small paper doily) put it under your drinking glass at home, or toothbrush holder, or wherever you'll see it and remember how much God loves you.

i asked all my kids 2 questions, "who do you think is the most strong willed child?" and "do you think you're strong willed?" all 7 answered a different kid as the most strong willed, and none of the ones i would consider strong willed said they were. the strong willed child can be perceived as a negative challenge, but i want you to erase that common stereotype and allow your mind to be a clean slate this morning to give you a different point of view (and if you are a strong willed child, you just thought to yourself that nobody can tell you what to think....)

*remember*.... God chose YOU to be the parent of your child/ren for a reason and He will give you the strength to do just that. what is a strong willed child, and how do you know if you have one?
* a strong willed child (swc) loves to challenge the rules
* they know anything is possible (if you say, "you'll never get to college if you don't study" they'll respond, "really? no one's *ever* done it?")
* there's something about never and can't that sparks a fire in them
* they know there's nothing they *have* to do
* they want control, and are willing to suffer the consequences in order to have it

what's the difference between a defiant child and a swc?
basically, a defiant child (not necessarily a swc) has trouble with authority. a swc questions how the authority is communicated. they want a say.

nevertheless, we are all sinners, and responsible for our actions. we can't blame it on our temperament or being a swc.

*it's so important as Christian parents to teach a view of God that will help our kids desire Him, not rebel against Him.* it's not the threat of eternal damnation that will appeal to our kids, but the promise of a loving relationship.

our purpose for authority in our childrens' lives is not to hold them under our power, but to empower them to be self-controlled people living freely under the authority of God.

i've come up with a word that will help you with 4 ways to deal with your swc. D-R-A-W

D-develop a relationship with your child. think of it as tying heart strings. the Bible speaks often of the heart:
proverbs 4:23, "guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life."
matthew 12:24, "out of the mouth, the heart speaks."
deuteronomy 6:2-fear the Lord, enjoy long life, 3- careful to obey so it will go well with you, 5-love the Lord, 6-commands to be on your hearts, 7- impress on your children when you walk, rise, talk all the time, 8-9- put it on your houses/gates (hands/forehands).

three basic relationships that affect our parenting are:
1.) God with us
2.) us with our parents
3.) us with our kids

start when they're young. listen as well as speak. one way we built relationships with our kids was starting around age 3 or 4, we'd take them one on one for a date nights. i'd take them one month at night, and my husband would take them the next month on a saturday morning for a donut. it builds memories as well as enabled us some one on one time for making the most of teachable moments (like seeing prisoners on the side of the road doing maintenance). get to really know your kids, what motivates them. (it's important once they reach a certain age to teach them that we all have hoops to jump through sometimes. a child who doesn't like math but wants to graduate from high school, recognizes that it's a hoop he has to jump through. not necessarily something he needs to learn to love).

a fun game we play with our kids at bedtime, after the lights go out, but before prayers is the word association game. i say a word and they say the first word that comes to mind. we start with silly words, and get deeper as we go on. it's a great way to find out what's on their heart without being too nosy or needing to prompt too much.

R- remove emotions or remain neutral. the day i discovered that their anger/disobedience/ lack of self control was not directed towards *me* was the beginning of a big change for us.
teach them to fear God, not just you. they will stand before His judgment throne one day.
decide if their action is willful defiance or childish responsibility.
teach that law of physics that every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
don't get angry or cry.
be willing to walk away.
your anger will signal to them that you are not in control.

you may need to ignore the circumstances of their coming to your family. i had a friend who found it extremely difficult to not be emotional when disciplining her son that they had waited years and spent a great deal of money on adopting. our 6th child was our first child conceived after my husband had his vasectomy reversed. when i was 18 weeks pregnant, we were told that instead of a brain, he had a fluid filled cyst. we were told to have an abortion and "try again." we opted for a repeat ultrasound in 4 weeks. at that visit, the doctor said he had never before seen a cyst as large as our son's completely disappear, but his had (praise the Lord. really, a miraculous gift only He could give.) it was a challenge to remain neutral in disciplining this miracle child.

A- accentuate the positive. not just when they are well behaved in front of other people, but when their hearts chose the right thing when no one is looking. some of the ways we've done this:
prayers of praise at bedtime
talking on the phone to grandma and praising them when they can overhear us
set them up for success--define boundaries/expectations (don't take them to the store when they're tired or hungry, etc.)
see under what circumstances do they get in trouble? what can i do to combat that?

use the fast food approach--have them repeat back to you what you expect them to do. teach them independence and responsibility. this will give them a sense of control that swc desire.

W- wage your battles carefully. think outside the box. when i was little my mom used to say to us: "do you want to go to bed at 8 or stay up until 7:30?" which sounds better to you when you're not really old enough to tell time? :)
decide ahead of time with your spouse what are your negotiables and what are non-negotiable.
our negotiables: how they dress, eating habits, etc.
non-negotiables: seat belts and other safety issues, moral values, etc.

come up with a family mission statement so you can remember what's important to you when your struggle. our basic family mission is to keep an eternal perspective. are we going to discipline the kids for running in the house when we've said not to, or will we wait to discipline after they've broken a lamp while running in the house? (the latter will send a message that the lamp was more important than obedience).

some practical age appropriate applications:

before 7 months--no discipline. ever. use a backpack or sling/wrap to keep them close to you.
teach them before they can crawl to stay and play on a small square blanket or in a hula hoop. (this can be done! it's a training process, not a once and done deal).

8-14 months: distraction/repetition. when my 2nd child was about 2, she was misbehaving in a store and we could not leave. so i looked her right in the eye and said, "oh, honey. am i going to have to tell your mother how you misbehaved for me today?" she was either so shocked or confused at my talking about myself in the 3rd person, that she behaved while we got our necessary items.

15-24 months: small spankings may be necessary for issues of safety. (give it immediately and with something other than your hand-but something that you could not hurt them with. like a thin forsythia branch). give lots of love. make pleasing you their main motivation.

2-3 years: laugh. often. begin scripture memorization. be consistent. say yes as much as possible (works for the teenage years too). time outs can begin to be effective if you find it's a matter of self-control.

4-8 years: address attitudes not just behavior. be the example. they are watching you even when you don't think they are.

9-12 years: loosening the lines of authority can begin if you've been consistent in the early years. spanking should have subsided. natural consequences can really be effective. allow the child to experience pain (so hard for a mom!)

try not to ask, "why did you do that?" often times they won't know....

instead, ask: "what did you do?"
"what should you have done?"
"what can you do to help solve the problem?"
" are you more concerned with pleasing yourself or pleasing God?"

some ways you can train a swc to be more independent and feel more in control is to teach them some ideas from montessori:
*graduated blocks * spooning (lentils, beans, rice) *wringing a sponge, helping to clean * sorting (buttons, colored pasta, toys, etc.) * rice pouring (to work up to being able to pour water or juice on their own) * matching fabrics from a fabric basket * basting * matching different lids * using tongs--marbles onto a bathtub suction cup, fake ice cubes, cotton balls, etc. *putting on coat, getting dressed * walking a line of masking tape on the floor * keep a mystery bag (like a small pillowcase) filled with objects they have to try and identify just by touching

discussion questions:
1.) is there anything else you want to talk about?
2.) do you agree that God gave you your child/ren for a reason and will help you parent them?
3.) do you remember a moment when you knew your child was strong willed? what led up to that realization?
4.) would you describe yourself as a strong willed? what characteristics of yourself do you see in your child?
5.) when you get frustrated or discouraged in your parenting what steps can you take to regain your joy?

makenna 9 weeks

makenna 9 weeks

Monday, October 19, 2009

bowling

bowling collage
all summer we've had free bowling coupons (you have to pay for shoes) for the 5 youngest kids (have to be under 16yo) but we hadn't had time when we were all together to be able to use them.

so, the first week we had them all back home for school, we did p.e. at the local bowling alley.

so. much. fun.
while i've loved every age/stage of our kids, and look forward to them being on their own, i will miss the days when it's just us.

Friday, October 16, 2009

opportunities

olivia has the option in her co-op literature class for some extra credit.
she had the opportunity to herd or milk cows.
she chose both.
amishcows2
our friends, the linds, live next to an amish farm and have become friends with them.
they graciously allowed us to come to their farm.
however, the cows were a bit spooked by us (14 children, 5 adults!).
the older amish girls said it was because of our "bright" clothing (i was wearing gray and denim, as was olivia, but one kid had on a bright pink shirt).
amishcows1
did you know you can earn a lot of money from renting your land to cell phone companies?
yup. about $1,000-$2,000/month!
the amish know this.
but they don't want obnoxious english cell towers on their property.
so they only agree to do it if the company agrees to make the cell tower look like a silo.
you can't tell from a distance.
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the fence around the bottom is a dead give away.
normal silos don't need large square concrete slabs or fences.
amishcelltower
a fun day, and the kids were sure cute (no face pictures please).
amishkids
they had 10 kids. so cute.
thank you linds and stotlzfus'.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

artist in residence

haley's co-op class is painting.
she doesn't particularly enjoy it.
but a cup of tea, a pumpkin chocolate chip bar and some afternoon sun is delightful anyway.
and i love seeing the end result of a long labor of love (or at least requirement :)
i love you, talented haley.
i really do want one framed to hang.
just in case you're thinking of christmas yet.....

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

fall in the montessori classroom

montessori pete
it's so fun having a just turned 4yo.
his small motor skills have improved so much through activities like this.
i change up the objects according to the season.
i used a coupon to a.c. moore to get these multi sized pumpkins for about $1.50.
there are so many ways to use them!
here, he practices the pincher grasp using tongs to transfer them from one basket to another.
then, we had him sort them by size. then by color. then by color and size.
just one thing pete's been up to lately.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

house tour- our atelier

atelier is french for "studio". this room is off our kitchen, and is supposed to be the formal dining room. it's not quite big enough for us to fit around a table comfortably, much less have company, so we opted to put the dining room out with the front living room (like it was originally with the house) and use this as an art/creative outlet space. then, when we brought them all home for school again, it turned out to be a great homeschool space as well. the day bed has a trundle under it, it gets great sun and the bird feeder/bath are out the big bay window. it's a great spot to sit and bird watch. and it's the only window in the whole house that faces my in-laws across the street. :)

atelier

Monday, October 12, 2009

can someone explain?

how this picture

maxdeer
cousin max with.....bambi?
got in my file of september photos?

Sunday, October 11, 2009

sunday

apples
I will give thanks to the LORD with all my heart;
I will tell of all Your wonders.

I will be glad and exult in You;
I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.
psalm 9:1-2

Saturday, October 10, 2009

enjoying seasons

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(the view from our pumpkin trip to the amish farm)

Friday, October 09, 2009

the scoop part 2

so how is it that it's october and we're still babysitting 5 days a week from 7:40am-5:10pm?
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(makenna 7 weeks in her new sling i made out of some old material. it's her favorite place)

well, after checking out the daycare (and learning the cost is $250/week for newborns) they've asked us to keep her for a while longer. no definite time frame, and as long as i have the energy and can sing her songs of Jesus and tell her how much God loves her, we'll be glad to help in this small way. and what monetary gain we get from it, we'll count our blessings, and try our best to be good stewards.
oliviamakenna

Thursday, October 08, 2009

the scoop

i'm getting emails wondering how it is that all the kids are now being homeschooled again, so i'll tell the story.

mike, reading on a 3rd grade level, and doing math on a 2nd grade level was not going to be challenged or even taught from his level until 3rd grade (after speaking with his principal, we were not offered much hope for this to change for the next several years, according to how they do things at his school). so we had decided to homeschool him at the end of the year last year.
mikeswing
upon hearing this, jack and olivia asked if they could be homeschooled too.
here's a picture of their first day of school. they were choosing an artist to study (they chose rodin. i'm thinking because they saw night at the museum 2:smithsonian and rodin's the thinker was a big star, at least in the trailer).
jackoliviafirstday09
then our niece jill (robin's sister's daughter) had a baby in july and asked if we would babysit her until a day care they had looked at had an opening the third week in september.
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haley and nick started school on the 24th. haley had a culinary track. she would take 2 classes in the morning at the high school, then take a bus to the career technology center for lunch and an afternoon of culinary learning. it quickly (less than a week) became apparent, that not only would these classes be a total waste of time, but it was a dangerous environment for her to be in. she reluctantly agreed to be homeschooled, and quickly turned to be enthusiastically homeschooled. we were able to get her into a painting class at the big high school homeschool co-op that meets at our church, and we've known the director for 20 years.
haley/sierra09
(haley with her bff from florida earlier this year when they came to pa to visit)
after going to school alone for 4 days, nick was asking to be homeschooled too. robin was really not in favor of it, not even considering it, until we compared several classes we had taught karis through homeschooling, to how they were taught in public school. for example, high school biology. the public school in florida and in pennsylvania gave a full credit for biology and never required a dissection or look through a microscope. we used apologia's high school biology and had the sonlight microscope. we dissected a worm, frog, crayfish and trout. that's just one example. and then one of our very good friends in co-op broke his leg and dropped an economics class (almost identical to the marketing class nick was taking in public school this semester) and offered the spot to us (the classes in this co-op fill fast). so we took the opening for nick. now robin says he's more convinced than ever that homeschooling is the best option for us, and Lord willing, we'll continue this way the rest of the way through (yay!)
nicksummer09

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

pete turns 4!

this year pete's birthday was on 9/9/09. i guess that's the only time in his lifetime that will happen! there's a special name for that, but i don't remember what it is. we had a problem this year figuring out when to have his party. robin leaves for work around 7:30am, but karis is working 3-10 at b2b and since it was wednesday this year, jack and mike had to be at church at 6:30 for kids in praise (choir) and everyone had to be at church from 7-8:30 for awana. by the time we get home it's around 9 and we're worn out.

so we decided to get everyone up early and open presents, and then have cake later.
pete4_3
(the boys, including our friend ian donaldson, were playing star wars, and those white "capes" are actually pinafores from old anne of green gables costumes that olivia found in the dress up box and convinced them they were the perfect star wars outfits).

the only problem with that was my mom was here and we tried to make a 3-d panda cake from a wilton cake pan from 1976 that i found at a yard sale. it was missing the clips that hold the 2 sides together and paper clips weren't strong enough. duct tape fixes everything, right? well, read the fine print on the inside of the roll. it is not heat proof past 200* f.
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good thing olivia wanted to see how the cake was shaping up, because the duct tape had melted and the cake batter was spilling out all over the bottom of the oven. it's a gas oven, so it wasn't as messy as an electric one. in fact, my mother (always thinking, that one) suggested we flip the batter that had fallen on the bottom and cook it like a pancake. olivia ate it and said it was good. when life hands you lemons....
pete4_2
it's all good when it's your birthday and you're turning 4 and your mother bought your presents on clearance in florida before you moved (the playmobil circus set). but she forgot to take pictures before you opened them.
pete4_1
even if all you get for cake is a bunch of generic looking cupcakes.

we love you, pete!
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